Many scientific studies are confirming age old beliefs. A recent science, Positive psychology is about twenty years old. The much older beliefs that have been taught for millenium are:
the power of gratitude, having close and deep connections, mindfulness, having a sense of meaning or purpose. Another tool is inner child healing work. Learning to care for that wounded child we all have is a powerful practice helping guide you to more inner peace. To help you find deep connection the tools we practice are: compassion, empathy, authenticity, vulnerability, mindfulness, active listening, developing more curiosity in others, and many more. We will practice NVC, Non-Violent Communication which can also help. A very important aspect is putting our judgments towards those we are trying to connect with aside. Judging someone puts a barrier, stop judging and start connecting. Most of us need a coach to keep us from letting our inner resistance sabotage us from achieving our goals. Our thoughts and stories can lead to our feeling, and we can learn new ways of directing the story to help us find more peace and achieve our goals, which in turn leads to having a sense of meaning or purpose in our life.
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About two years ago I was almost an atheist. But I had a strong desire to pray and pray with other people. I would pray something like God please rebuild my faith. I no longer consider myself a Christian. In the last two years I feel that God is rebuilding my faith. I believe that God is bigger than any one religion. Several days ago I ran an ad on Craigslist, men seeking women, and M replied. We met at the Black Oak Casino.
Here's a copy of my Craigslist ad: I am very honest and I am looking for a relationship where there are no secrets. I love to encourage others. I am an engineer, I live in Sonora. I write music and play guitar, piano, cello. I have a pilot’s license. I love anything outdoors - rock climbing, kayaking, surfing, tennis. I'm looking for a younger woman who will try rock climbing, surfing etc. with me. Hope to hear back from you. Mark M Ask me what I meant about a relationship where there are no secrets. I explained what I meant and she told me about her fear of her husband kicking her out of the house. The next day her fear became reality. I told her I was in a coaching program to learn to become a life coach, and that I’d coach her for free. I shared with her about my divorce and how it was the hardest thing I've ever gone through. I offered to call R her husband and explain to him that if they cooperated he could save $10,000 because since he was the sole breadwinner he would also have to pay for her lawyer. She said no way, he would get angry at me. But she told R's parents what I had said, and they did an internet search and came to agree with me. They told R and now he's willing to cooperate with M and come to a settlement agreement. So in a sense I did talk to R. M was so happy today when she told me about this. R's being much nicer to her now. He is dropping the children for M to have the children this weekend. When I called M tonight, she said she was just then picking up the phone to call me. We prayed together after she told me the story of what happened today. We were both in tears. In the last few days we've prayed about her situation together every day. Yesterday she was distraught and hopeless. Today, she was joyful with R’s agreement to work together and co-operate for the benefit of the children. Fun enhances life for those already happy. But for the unhappy, it’s a diversion from their unhappiness.
Pursuing fun requires nothing of the person who pursues it. But happiness requires personal growth and maturity and the exercise of spiritual, moral, emotional, and mental muscles. The pursuit of happiness causes us to change, to transform, degree by degree into a better person, into a happier person. |
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